the internet made easy
colin taylor presents a step-by-step guide to the internet for the inexperienced
this week : getting on the internet
you've probably heard a lot about the internet. it's everywhere. but what is it and how do i get to grips with it? just follow these easy steps.
one : get a pc
pc stands for plastic computer. without one you can't get on the internet. you can only pretend. a pc will cost between £800 and very much more, depending on how big it is. one that's just big enough to fit on your desk should be ideal.
see pannel for stockists
the pc
see illustration below left
comprises a keyboard, which is like a typewriter without paper,
a monitor, which is like a television without knobs or channels,
and a huge third component which is very heavy and gets hot with use. this is known in seattle, where computers come from, as the hhb, or hot heavy bit.
all three components are connected by wires known as cables. one of them comes with a fourth component called a mouse, which is so called because like a mouse it is a plastic hand-held-handle with a wire coming out the back.
two : get a modem
a modem is so called because it's modern and it works in tandem with your pc. many pc's will have a modem already installed. ask the sales assistant. if it doesn't have one installed, or if the sales assistant lied to you about it, you'll need to buy one, called a stand-alone modem. it is the size of a paperback book, depending on the size, but without pages. it also comes with wires known as cables, which plug into two of the other parts of the pc
see one
but not all. if all this talk of wires sounds daunting, don't be.
three : connect up to the internet
the internet, or world wide net web webspace, is already there. all you have to do is get on to it. it is called the internet because it is a net of computers which everyone is into. turn on your pc and your modem. a pannel should appear. ignore all the words on the pannel except 'on'. click on 'on'. a noise a bit like a fax machine will happen. another pannel should appear. if all this talk of icons and pannels appearing sounds daunting, there's no need.
four : connect up to an isp
an isp stands for internet sound picture. even if you have gotten on the internet, you haven't really unless you have an isp. you can get one of these in an instant of the internet, or failing that in more than an instant by phoning up
see pannel for isp hotlines
some isp's are free. others are more honest. when you have subscribed to an isp, an icon will appear on your screen bearing their logo depending on what it is. click on it, and wait
five : wait
the thing you will need to do the most on the internet is wait around. because it offers instant access to anything anywhere in the world straightaway, this can take up to ten minutes to download. although it's called downloading, your pc does not have to be positioned lower than the other pc. downloading can occur up or across, which is confusing. while it is downloading, you don't have to do anything. this is where the waiting around comes in handy. when the thing you wanted to see or read has downloaded down, up or across, you will be able to tell because it will be there. if it isn't, please try again later. shut down your pc, unplug it and turn off the electricity at the mains. put the individual components of the pc back in the box, with them hold in polystyrene pieces in correct formation. then, unpack them again, reassemble, reconnect the electricity and reboot. rebooting means turning on again, and not changing your shoes, which could cause problems later. now everything should work, as long as you have kept all the original packaging, which you should have really. happy cyber net web surfing.